Sunday, May 17, 2009
That's my mom and dad in the pic flanking my gorgeous, opera singing niece Carol. They are fabulous, amazing people; the kind that would give you the shirt off their backs and never shame you by telling anyone that you'd needed help. Honestly, if they weren't my parents I would be proud to have them as friends.
So, they are in town for the weekend and are taking Melina and I out to lunch. This may seem like a simple enough outing, but trust me when I say that it involves the kind of planning that would normally go into launching invasions of small nations, not to mention patience the likes of which is not a genetic trait.
We recognize that we are hard to accommodate by times. Being vegan can make it hard to eat out. Left to our own devices we would usually opt for some kind of ethnic cuisine (Indian or Mexican) as there are more options. But this brings us to the first rule of LeBlanc Lunching:
1- FOOD CAN'T BE SPICY
Keeping this in mind, garlic is 'hot' and oregano can be considered spice-like. For example, when eating a focaccia cracker over the holidays Lorraine was heard to say "Those have some spice on them!" Um, that would be green onion and oregano.
2- FOOD CAN NEVER BE HOT ENOUGH
Every time we go to a restaurant the words are uttered "Well, this isn't very hot." Having grown up in a house where I don't recall things being served at an unusually high temperature I find this confusing. Do things taste cooler when eaten outside the home? As you get older do you require more heat to digest? I think I'll ask Dr.Oz.
3- WHILE LUNCHING THERE WILL INVARIABLY BE AN EVENT OF HUGE CONCERN TO MY PARENTS THOUGH IT INVOLVES ONLY ME
Example: I may lose my $5.00 sunglasses. I don't care because they were cheap, and I tell them so repeatedly. Nevertheless, Bob will not rest until he has turned over every stone, looked under car seats and backtracked to every locale visited that day in order to track down those "Jesus glasses"!
Tomorrow promises to be a fun day!